AS BILL SEES IT, Question 20c

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!  

 

Do the same to the third section of the Serenity Prayer.

"And wisdom to know the difference."

Sometimes (in my recovery) there is a time to shut up and listen and then other times it's OK to speak.  How do I know what to do when?  It comes from prayer and meditation, working the steps with my sponsor, abstinence, attending meetings, listening, asking for help and trusting the process.

Wisdom to know the difference did not happen overnight for me.  It came from doing the work.  The A.A. Big Book mentions the "intuitive thought."  I had this but didn't trust it.  This is because I had to do all of the work first.  I had to get abstinent and work the steps before I could understand it was my Higher Power talking to me. 

When I finally started working a spiritual program and actually felt Gods love inside of me - that's when I was able to love myself.  After this happened, I listened to the intuitive thought and trusted.  

I heard and I believed.

AS BILL SEES IT, Question 20a

The Serenity Prayer is divided into three (3) sections.  Break it down and take the first section.  What does it mean to you?  How do you relate?  How do you work it into your life?  Do you use it to your best advantage?

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change"

Working my program, day in and day out, for as many years as I've been around the rooms, has given me the opportunity to learn quite a few things about acceptance.  I would call it the school of hard knocks  because I was constantly trying to change things I had no control over.  I had a hard time accepting anything not going the way I wanted or thought they should - it's been one of my worst defects.  Of course, I would eat over it and ended up one hundred pounds overweight!

The 12 steps have taught me I need to "turn it over," anything bothering me, to a Higher Power.  Afterward, I need to find peace sitting with my decision.  This is where the first part of the serenity prayer works for me.

When I say "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change," what I'm really doing is asking God for help with my decision (I can't do this God, so I'm giving it to you) and telling him I need help to be OK (with the decision).

Afterward, I don't want to take any part of this decision back and the addictive part of me (the disease) does.  So I have to continue to take action.  The action is asking God for more help.  I'm reaffirming my decision and speaking up to my disease.  I also want peace, therefore, the first line of the prayer; "God, grant me the serenity..."

My first line of defense comes from God, if I ask for it.  My part (the foot work) is asking for it.