What false Gods have you previously worshiped? Are you still hanging onto these false Gods?
I used to have many false Gods in my life: work, money, sex, food, people (doctors, husband), places (my home), drugs (anti-depressants), clothes, material possessions, where I lived, what I owned, how many toys I had, how many homes I owned, what kind of cars I drove, what jewelry I had, who I had for a friend, if I had a person to do my cleaning - status symbols. All of these played a very important role in my life. If I didn't measure up, I had to work harder.
Sometimes I still struggle with them. For instance, today I was looking at cell phones and thinking about changing my plan. The one I have doesn't have texting on it and everyone I know has it - even my grandchildren! These thoughts were going through my head as I was thinking about changing to a more expensive plan - which I don't even need at this point. Why was I? Part of it was the draw of getting a new phone. "So why not get one like everyone else? They all have texting!"
I can fall right into the trap very easily...letting my wants get in the way. They blind me to what is important in my life and I forget to ask God (HP) for help. I forget to ask what his will is for me. (When I remember to ask for help, it always comes).
In this case, the answer I received was to step back and pause - to look at the whole picture - I needed to ask myself, "Is this something I need Norinne or is it something I want?" With the pause also came my answer - a definite no.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
AS BILL SEES IT, Question 22c
How have you experienced both kinds of fear? (constructive & non-constructive)
I believe any fear can be constructive, if I can learn from it. On the other hand, non-constructive fear would mean (for me) holding onto the fear and repeating it over and over in my daily life.
Prior to working the 12 steps and actively working a spiritual program, I lived with several fears. I couldn't let go of them no matter what I did. They were prevalent in my life and permeated most of my relationships. The biggest two were death and abandonment. I was afraid of death - in myself and those I loved and I was afraid my husband was going to leave me. It didn't matter what he said or did to prove his love, I was still afraid of being alone. These fears were destructive because they affected everything I did and said. They also gave me reason (I thought) to eat.
They have also become constructive fears - I've learned they have nothing to do with death, abandonment or my husband. The abandonment has everything to do with the empty hole inside I've felt for as long as I can remember. The fears are about my need to trust a Higher Power with my life.
As this trust has emerged and grown, my fears have weakened and shrunk. They are gone, as long as I work all aspects of my program - physical, emotional and especially the spiritual. When I can feel my Higher Powers presence deep down inside, there are no fears.
I am not afraid when I live and work my program every day, with help from my Higher Power (God).
I believe any fear can be constructive, if I can learn from it. On the other hand, non-constructive fear would mean (for me) holding onto the fear and repeating it over and over in my daily life.
Prior to working the 12 steps and actively working a spiritual program, I lived with several fears. I couldn't let go of them no matter what I did. They were prevalent in my life and permeated most of my relationships. The biggest two were death and abandonment. I was afraid of death - in myself and those I loved and I was afraid my husband was going to leave me. It didn't matter what he said or did to prove his love, I was still afraid of being alone. These fears were destructive because they affected everything I did and said. They also gave me reason (I thought) to eat.
They have also become constructive fears - I've learned they have nothing to do with death, abandonment or my husband. The abandonment has everything to do with the empty hole inside I've felt for as long as I can remember. The fears are about my need to trust a Higher Power with my life.
As this trust has emerged and grown, my fears have weakened and shrunk. They are gone, as long as I work all aspects of my program - physical, emotional and especially the spiritual. When I can feel my Higher Powers presence deep down inside, there are no fears.
I am not afraid when I live and work my program every day, with help from my Higher Power (God).
Sunday, December 19, 2010
AS BILL SEES IT, Question 22b
Can fear be constructive? In what ways?
In the 12 step program, one of the acronyms for FEAR is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear can be constructive for me IF I can learn from it.
When I'm fearful, I have an agenda - I've taken the outcome back. I may say I've turned the problem over to God (and I trust him) but in actuality, I haven't. What it boils down to is my need to control. I haven't let go and I haven't completely surrendered. Until this happens, I will continue to struggle (with fear).
The best part of my process is when I have the opportunity to learn. As I go through the work it requires, I'm learning about what keeps me in bondage to the disease and what little I have to do to be free from it. Fear can be changed from False Evidence Appearing Real into Face Everything And Recover! My attitude has changed so that I can again trust God with everything - giving him all of my problems - including the outcome. I'm back to feeling I will be OK.
As hard as it is, I have to do the work - it's the only way I can or will learn. (I call it the school of hard knocks.) My brain will not learn from someone else doing the work for me!
In the 12 step program, one of the acronyms for FEAR is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear can be constructive for me IF I can learn from it.
Experience has shown, when I have fear, I'm "out of whack" spiritually.
When I'm fearful, I have an agenda - I've taken the outcome back. I may say I've turned the problem over to God (and I trust him) but in actuality, I haven't. What it boils down to is my need to control. I haven't let go and I haven't completely surrendered. Until this happens, I will continue to struggle (with fear).
The best part of my process is when I have the opportunity to learn. As I go through the work it requires, I'm learning about what keeps me in bondage to the disease and what little I have to do to be free from it. Fear can be changed from False Evidence Appearing Real into Face Everything And Recover! My attitude has changed so that I can again trust God with everything - giving him all of my problems - including the outcome. I'm back to feeling I will be OK.
As hard as it is, I have to do the work - it's the only way I can or will learn. (I call it the school of hard knocks.) My brain will not learn from someone else doing the work for me!
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