AS BILL SEES IT, Question 6a

Have you accepted life on "life's terms" or do your daily problems throw you off kilter?

I'm so grateful to finally be at a spot in my life where I'm able to accept life on life's terms. In the past, anything would send me over the edge.  

Emotionally, I struggled.  When I was in the food, I was emotionally numb... but still controlling.  Even after I put the food down, for many years after, I was a basket case.  I didn't know how to allow myself to feel the emotions.  I fought them.  I spent all of my time trying to run from my feelings.  I thought if I felt them, I would die.   Instead, I was killing my spirit.

Fortunately,  God took over, introduced me to the people in fellowship who could help me with my spiritual program and then encouraged me to work the 12 steps spiritually.

I can't, He can, I think I'll let him.

Once I let go and let God, my depression slowly lifted.  As I continue to rely on God (HP) everyday, I lead a sane and healthy life.  I know that the God of my understanding will take care of me, no matter what.  Any fears I used to have are gone - as long as I ask for help - which I do through my prayers, meditation, reading and writing.  As the A.A. Big Book says, I'm rewarded with a peaceful and serene life, which I have today.

I've been searching for this way of life forever.  It's part of what the big black empty hole inside of me was about.  I'm not willing to go back there (to the pain) again.  So however much time in my day this work takes, I'm willing to do it.

I'd love to hear what your answer is to any of these questions.  Please feel free to post a comment.