How do you go about getting the willingness to do what is necessary to keep what you have found?
The easiest way for me to find the willingness to do "what is necessary" is to keep my memories green. What I mean when I say this is, I remember the pain of my past - I don't forget where I came from. And, I tell myself verbally, "I refuse to go back to where I came from."
The actions I take to help me is: going to meetings and sponsoring (along with the given - praying and meditating). I find both very humbling.
At meetings, I am constantly exposed to the newcomer. When they come in, it's very easy to see the pain on their faces from this disease. As they sit through their first meeting, there usually are tears.
This exposure always takes me back to my first meeting; the pain I felt and the emotions that were running rampant through my body. I remember the fear - my not wanting to be there and yet wanting so badly for the craziness with the food to stop.
Sponsoring reminds me of my process of working through the steps - each one of them, with my sponsor. As my sponsee does a step, I'm taken back to the first time I did that step with my first sponsor. I remember the struggles I had, what I was willing to do, and what games I played. It also helps me to recognize how far I've come since then. When I share my experiences with my sponsees, this also helps with my willingness.
Ultimately, I have my Higher Power (God). When I'm really struggling to find the willingness, I go to him for help. If I need to, I'll ask God to do it for me. (I've found if it's something I'm supposed to do, somehow, someway, God sends me help. If I'm not supposed to do anything, then nothing happens. Either way, I get the message.
I've always found willingness mysterious - it shows up when I least expect it and it's there when I need it. All I have to do is the footwork.
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