When I am trying to fool someone else by telling a lie or with evasion, I've already fooled myself into believing this falsehood. The deception has to become my truth before I can try to convince anyone else.
I've been guilty many times in my past of what I would have called sugar coating the truth - I wouldn't have said I was lying. I may have admitted I was stretching the truth if caught, but only if backed into a corner. In both cases, it was to get things to go my way. Whenever I didn't tell the truth, it was always to get my way. [ I would label my behavior controlling and manipulation.]
- I lied about my food - what I was eating and not eating,
- I lied to my husband about what I spent while shopping,
- I lied to myself about not having a problem with food.
- When I play "dumb," it's a form of lying.
- Withholding my emotions is a form of lying.
Do I deceive myself today? Yes. I still have character defects. Not all of the same ones I came into program with. They're also not as frequent. With my Higher Powers help and working the 12 Step program, I am working on letting them go, slowly and in God's (HP's) time.
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