Saturday, November 27, 2010

AS BILL SEES IT, Question 21a

Have you taken your life into program or have you taken your program into life?  What is the difference?

My program comes first, no matter what.  This means I have to take my program into life.  (If I don't have a program, I won't have a life).

I've tried many times to fit program into my life instead of the other way around.  This meant I didn't give the time necessary to program.  I didn't give it top priority.  Instead, my time was given to outside issues.  Everything else became more important and I lost my focus - which is to stay abstinent.

Food became more important.  I forgot about the pain from my binging; I forgot how much material possessions and money controlled my thoughts and I forgot how the obsession to have more consumed my every thought.  Eventually program went by the wayside and food took over again.  I was back into my more syndrome;  a full fledged relapse.

So far, this has happened twice.  (I'm a slow learner).  The bottom line is I need to work my program 100% of the time - everywhere I go - no vacations or time off allowed.  Then, whatever time I have left can be applied to other activities - like life.

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