Sunday, November 28, 2010

AS BILL SEES IT, Question 21c

Have you found an equal balance joining program and the outside world?  In which ways?

It's taken me a long time to find an equal balance between program and the outside world.  It seemed like it was always fighting me (the outside world), whenever I tried to balance the two.  Any time I tried to share part of myself with the outside world - the outside world wanted more.  If I gave more, the outside world wanted even more.  Suffice to say, my program suffered and my life always ended up unbalanced.

UNTIL I started working a Spiritual program.  When I sought God, invited him into all areas of my life, asked him for help with everything; changes started happening.  A peace slowly settled over me.  Things started to bother me less; it didn't matter what others thought or said.  I stopped having an agenda.  Money lost it's importance.  Anger started to dissipate.

Now I ask God what it is I need to do - for program and for others outside of program.  Then I wait for an answer.

"The answers will come if your own house is in order."
A.A. Big Book, pg 164
I am receiving answers.  When I struggle with having to make a decision (in all areas of my life, not just program) I ask my Higher Power for help.  The answers come! 

Just lately I felt the need to go to a program convention.  It fell on the weekend of my wedding anniversary so I asked God what I should do.  The answer I received was to talk to my husband, tell him how I was feeling and what I needed.  Further, I had to ask him how he felt about my being gone on our special day.  I  had to be open to not going if he was upset by it.  I was able to go and we celebrated the following weekend.

When I ask, sit back and listen...and most of all, am patient, the answers come.  BUT FIRST, I have to be abstinent.

This program is amazing.  Everyday I am learning and growing, thanks to my Higher Power and the people in the rooms.

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