AS BILL SEES IT, Question 19c

Are you grateful for your success in program or do you take it for granted?

There was a time I didn't think much about where I came from (the pain) and how much better my life is.  I took my life and my recovery for granted.  I became complacent.  So when I received some medical news about myself that wasn't positive, I fell apart and went into an emotional relapse.

I couldn't understand why (something like this) would happen to me, especially when I was doing everything I was supposed to do.  (I'd been abstinent and following a specific food plan for over 13 years.)  I did what the doctors wanted - what happened?

This time period, ultimately, changed my whole life.  Someone called and asked if I would help her.  In the end, she's the one who helped me.  She had something I wanted - a spiritual program.  God got my attention.  I realized I'd been working a physical program only, not a spiritual one.

I am working a spiritual program today because of this messenger.  I also don't take my program for granted anymore.  (This is not to say I do everything perfectly.)

Instead of seeing what I can get out of life, my goal today is to see what I can give or bring to life.  A question I ask myself is, "How can I help someone today?"  I don't consciously have to ask it anymore - it happens automatically now.  I also ask, "What would God (HP) want me to do in this situation?"

We never know how we'll affect someone's life.  This summer I was able to see my brother for the first time in eight years.  (It has been his drug use that's kept us apart).

One of the last times I saw him, I gave him a couple of 12 Step books - the A.A. Big Book and a Narcotics Anonymous book.  I also talked to him about program and how it's affected my life. 

This summer he told me he's been clean for three years (he still has his N.A. book.)  I mention this because my brother has been using since he was in his teens - he's now 54.  There have been many prayers said in our family for him and lots of fears when the phone rang - especially during the times when we didn't know where he was.  I knew there was nothing more I could do for him and worrying wasn't going to help my program - so I gave him to God - to do with as he wished.

When I said goodbye this summer I told him I loved him.  Physically, I don't know where my brother is now.  I do know he's in God's hands.

No, I don't take anything for granted anymore.  I'm grateful for all my Higher Power has given me, as I walk with him hand in hand, on this wonderful journey called RECOVERY.