"As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or he is
willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on
his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon
this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual
structure can be built."
A.A. Big Book, pg 47
I was so beaten down by my disease and the consequences of it, that I was willing to believe again. I wanted something that was greater than myself to take away my problems and help me to make my life better again. Sitting in the meetings and reading the literature led me to believe a Higher Power could do this for me.
Part of my disease already had me living in a fantasy world so it was easy for me to adjust to the possibility of a power greater than myself - I could pretend. The qualities I gave my Higher Power were also easy. He's everything I want him to be, which includes being all powerful and knowing; his powers encompass everything and go everywhere. There isn't anything he's unable to do.
My problem was learning to trust. I didn't trust God and I didn't trust anyone in program. That took awhile. I had to make sure it was safe with both. Today, belief is enough for me to completely put myself in God's care.
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